From Fixing to Witnessing: A Somatic Approach to Embracing Our Whole Self With Compassion

Nothing Here Needs Fixing (The Instinct to Fix Ourselves or Make Our Emotions Go Away)

When was the last time you experienced stress, anxiety, sadness or another tender or uncomfortable emotion? 

Did you notice an instinctual urge to make it go away or fix it? 

For many of us, fixing, numbing or suppressing our emotions has become a well practised way of coping in difficult moments. 

We might pick up our phone and scroll through our social media feed, get busy with our to-do list, or eat food that feels particularly comforting - without truly noticing.

These strategies often serve us well for a while. 

They may have enabled us to cope with emotions that felt too overwhelming to open ourselves up to, without the fear of drowning in them. 

But they are not sustainable. 

They often leave the underlying emotions unresolved. 

In western cultures, we are often encouraged to “power through,” “think positive,” and “move on” as though emotions are hurdles to overcome or problems to fix, rather than tender signals from our body, pointing us towards the parts of us that need tending to. 

While it offers temporary respite, when we ignore our sadness, our doubt, our fear, or our overwhelm, these emotions don’t disappear. Their residues remain in our body in the form of sensations, feelings, tension, perhaps even illness - until we turn towards the parts of ourselves who need tending to and create space for these emotions to complete their cycle. 

The truth is, our emotions don’t need fixing. They need witnessing.

When we slow down and offer them our compassionate attention, we discover that these tender, vulnerable parts can guide us toward healing and wholeness.

Wholeness doesn’t mean perfection (in fact, quite the opposite).

It means gathering the scattered, tender pieces of ourselves and learning to hold them with care.

The Shift To ‘Being With’ Rather Than Fixing

Our journey towards wholeness begins when we stop treating our emotions as problems to fix and instead learn to meet them with compassion, curiosity, and care.

This is the heart of somatic work: a gentle invitation to slow down and turn toward what feels tender within us. 

Instead of forcing change or demanding that these parts of ourselves “get better,” we create a safe space to simply be with them.

We open up a little bit more space to witness the sensations or emotions that are present. We meet what has been calling for our attention at a slow, titrated pace that is unique to each of us, and feels safe, sustainable and supportive. 

No fixing happens, no wishing for anything to go away - but rather a witnessing of what emerges, and an embracing of all parts of us.

We sit beside these parts of us with the same gentle presence we would offer a dear friend or a small child. 

Think of a moment when someone you cared about was in pain. You likely didn‘t rush to fix their pain. Instead, you might have sat with them and listened. Held their hand, and allowed them to feel seen. 

Our presence - centred, loving, and non-judgmental - is the balm that is most needed in these moments.

Somatic approaches teach us to be with ourselves in the same gentle, caring way. 

We realise that healing old patterns and creating space for new ways of being to come online doesn’t require fixing, it requires presence.

Transforming The Relationship We Have With Ourselves

So many of us experience moments in our lives where we judge ourselves for being weak, inadequate, not enough, lacking in some way. These feelings are invitations to come back to a sense of inner wholeness. The deep knowing that we are whole, worthy and wise just as we are.

Wholeness comes from cultivating the ability to hold all parts of ourselves - our strength, our joy, our sadness, our anxiety, and our tenderness - with equal and unconditional care.

When we build the capacity to witness all parts of ourselves without resistance or fear, something shifts.

• We soften recurring patterns of anxiety, stress, self-doubt, …

• We feel more grounded, stable, and at home within ourselves.

• Our inner critical voice starts to dissipate and our inner tone profoundly changes.

• New, more expansive ways of being start coming online naturally (confidence, trust, sovereignty,...)

Somatic approaches guide us towards regeneration.

A Compassionate Path: What It Looks Like to Work Somatically

So what might this process look like in practice?

In somatic coaching, we create a safe and grounded space to gently explore what’s present within us. We move slowly, always at a pace that feels supportive and sustainable. 

There’s no pushing, no forcing, no pressure to “fix” anything or go anywhere.

Instead, we:

• Lean into layers of support and stability to cultivate a sense of safety.

• Meet all parts of ourselves with compassion, curiosity and care.

• Allow space for what wants to be expressed to express itself at the right pace.

• Follow our body’s organic intelligence towards integration.
  

And over time, magic happens:

• We build deeper trust within ourselves, a greater sense of safety and capacity.

• We begin to cultivate new, expansive ways of being that help us to flourish and thrive.
  

Witnessing what feels tender can feel uncomfortable, but being held in a relational space of deep care, compassion and support makes this process not only possible, but deeply transformative.

An Invitation to Meet Yourself With Care

None of us are not broken. We don’t need fixing. Our emotions are not flaws, but invitations to deeper self-compassion and wholeness.

Somatic approaches are not about “fixing” ourselves but meeting all parts of us with compassion and care.

Our bodies hold natural intelligence that will guide us towards what needs to be seen - sometimes, all we need is skilled and gentle holding to trust and follow it.

If you feel stuck in a never ending quest to ‘fix’ yourself, somatic coaching can offer a more compassionate and sustainable way forward. Together, we can build the safety, trust, and capacity to meet yourself fully - just as you are.

If you would like to explore how it might support you, simply schedule a discovery call here.